Ecouraging someone to "seek help" has become a common refrain. It's often portrayed as an act of compassion, a lifeline extended to those struggeling, the magic bullet that will cure all woes. However, upon closer examination, the notion that telling people to "seek help" as a catch-all remedy reveals itself to be misusused or misunderstood, in short a cop-out – a simplistic response to complex issues that demand deeper consideration and genuine support.
"The greatest healing therapy is friendship and love." - Hubert H. Humphrey
While urging someone to seek help can come from a place of concern, its essential to recognise and address the nuances and complexeties around struggles and in the realms of mental health and the support an individual might hope to receive in realistic terms.
The phrase "seek help" implies that the burden of finding solutions lies solely on the individual grappling with their challenges. It places the responsibility on their shoulders alone, disregarding the systemic barriers, stigma, and lack of resources that often hinder access to appropriate support. It overlooks the fact that seeking help can be daunting, overwhelming, and even impossible for many individuals due to various reasons including financial constraints, cultural stigma, or geographic limitations.
Moreover, the notion of "seeking help" perpetuates the myth of self-sufficiency and individualism, suggesting that one should be able to handle their struggles independently. This mindset ignores the fundamental human need for connection, empathy, and community support. It fails to recognize that healing and growth often occur within the context of nurturing relationships and compassionate networks of care.
"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair but manifestations of strength and resolution." - Kahlil Gibran
Telling someone to "seek help" also dismisses the importance of validating their experiences and offering empathetic listening. It reduces complex emotional realities to a simplistic directive, undermining the depth of the person's feelings and the significance of their struggles. It overlooks the power of genuine human connection and the transformative potential of being seen, heard, and understood. Moreover it deminishes our own agency by shifting the resposibilty off ourselves onto proffesional caregivers whilst maintaing an air of "I did the right thing"absolving friends family and comunities of their role in providing meaningful support and understanding.
Using "seek help as a default response without genuine intention or followup can come accross as insincere and dismissive which can often have the opposite effect. Rendering an individual silent and suffering alone.
Instead of relying on the generic prescription to "seek help," we must cultivate a culture of active support and genuine empathy instead of resorting to empty platitudes. We must create spaces where individuals feel safe to share their vulnerabilities, seek guidance, and receive validation without judgment or shame. We must acknowledge the systemic barriers that hinder access to mental health resources and work towards dismantling them through advocacy and collective action.
Furthermore, we must recognize that supporting someone in their journey towards healing is not about offering quick-fix solutions or platitudes and oversimplifying the healing process which is rarely ever linear or swift. It's about showing up consistently, offering unconditional support, and walking alongside them as they navigate their challenges. It's about amplifying their voices, advocating for their needs, and empowering them to reclaim agency over their lives.
"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit." - Albert Schweitzer
Telling people to "seek help" is not only a cop-out but also a disservice to those who are struggling. It diminishes the complexity of their experiences, perpetuates harmful myths, and fails to address the systemic barriers that prevent access to support.
In the words of Maya Angelou, "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Let us embody this wisdom by embracing empathy, compassion, and active listening in our interactions with others. Instead of directing to some unknown, let us commit to fostering a culture of genuine empathy, active support, and collective care. Let us be allies, advocates, and companions on the journey towards healing and resilience. Let us stand together in solidarity and compassion, recognizing the inherent worth and dignity and diversity of every individual on their path to healing and wholeness
Remember, you are the help..... no matter how messily they came to you....
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